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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
- What is menarche?
Menarche is the name for a girl’s first menstrual period. Words such as menarche, menses, and menstruation are all derived from the prefix “mene” which means monthly.
- Why do we call it the First Moon®?
A woman’s cycle follows the 28-day cycle of the moon. The moon symbolizes the spiritual nature of women and represents the mother, and all things feminine. Some women refer to their menstrual cycle as their “moon cycle”, so the first period would be the First Moon®.
- When does menarche begin?
A girl can have her first period as young as eight or as late as fifteen or sixteen, but the hormonal changes in a girl’s body begin before the actual period. The book, The Seven Sacred Rites of Menarche, by Kristie Boylan goes into great detail about the hormonal and emotional changes a girl experiences several years before her first period. Between the ages of 9 and 13, the average girl will become 25 per cent taller and will almost double her weight.
- Does your daughter know more about the life cycle of a fruit fly than about menstruation?
Your daughter may have learned about the basic physical aspects of menstruation in her school, but probably in not much detail, and her questions about how she will feel might not be answered. Hearing stories from other women will provide some answers. You might want to give your daughter The Period Book, Everything you don't want to ask but need to know by Karen Gravelle, Jennifer Gravelle and Debbie Palen, or Sweet Secrets, Stories about Menstruation, by Kathleen O'Grady and Paula Wansbrough.
- What are the emotional changes a girl experiences at the time of her first period?
A girl may be excited and feel she is now grown up. She may also feel sad that she is leaving her girlhood behind. Though she is still a girl and not yet a woman, starting her period is a very big change for every girl. As she leaves childhood and embarks on the journey of becoming an adult woman, she will go through many changes as she blends the beauty of the girl she was with the women she is becoming.
- Why are ceremonies and celebrations important?
We have many ceremonies and celebrations, from small intimate gatherings to large public ceremonies, to mark important life events and transitions. Graduations, retirement, and birthdays are generally celebrated. We do well as a culture in many areas of marking the transition from one stage to the next by publicly recognizing growth and celebrating accomplishment, but this all important transition of physically becoming a woman is rarely acknowledged or celebrated in Western culture.
- Why is a rite of passage important for a girl?
To let your daughter know that she is accepted as part of the circle of women and that she has the guidance and support of the women in her life. If the adults in the society do not provide rites of passage for adolescents and concrete ways for young women to mark the transition from child to adult, they will create rites of passage of their own, such as smoking cigarettes, anorexia, bulimia, obsession with surface beauty, or becoming pregnant.
- Why should we celebrate the first period?
Young women need and seek acceptance and belonging among adult women. It is so vital to pass on to our daughters the importance of pride and appreciation for being female. It is time to celebrate the transition from girl to woman because in order to understand and value the responsibility of becoming a woman - a young woman must be acknowledged. Something special to acknowledge a young woman’s first period has a lifelong impact.
- Do other cultures celebrate menarche?
Many early cultures had ceremonies and rituals for the first menstruation of young women. Most societies were celebrating the blessings of fertility as each young woman became physically able to conceive children. It was a time of publicly acknowledging that the woman was now ready for the responsibilities of marriage and motherhood. Cultures that honor and celebrate their young women at first menstruation and truly value them are cultures that are less violent towards women.
- Are menarche celebrations religious rituals?
The ceremony we describe is not religious. You may add something from your religious faith during any part of the ceremony. Bat Mitzvah in the Jewish religion, and confirmation in some Christian religions are the closet rituals we could find mentioned in America that are religious coming of age rituals. Neither ritual, however, necessarily coincides with a girl’s first period or mentions menarche. Religions in other parts of the world may have ceremonies for menarche.
- When should I talk to my daughter about having a ceremony for her first period?
We suggest that you mention the idea of a ceremony or celebration when you begin to talk to your daughter about menstruation. Most schools provide information about the physical aspects of menstruation. When your daughter mentions this experience, you might ask her if she has unanswered questions. You can share your first experience of menstruation with her, sharing that you would have liked to have had a ceremony or something to make this transition memorable and special.
- Should you plan the celebration in advance of her first period?
Yes. When you begin talking to your daughter about menstruation, you can share that you want to make it a special time for her. Share ideas you might have about celebrating this time and listen to her feelings and ideas about the kind of celebration or ceremony she would like.
- Should you involve your daughter in planning her ceremony?
We strongly encourage to involve your daughter in planning her ceremony. She should decide who she wishes to invite. If you are the only person on her invite list, that is perfectly okay. You can share ideas that you have read about, on this website, other sites, or in books. Encourage her to create her own ideas too. The planning that you do with your daughter is an important part of making this transition both memorable and special.
- Who should be invited to the ceremony?
Invite the people who your daughter wishes to invite. You may certainly suggest people she might not mention but respect her wishes as much as you can. Sometimes that can be difficult if there is someone that you would like to invite and she does not agree. You might share with her that you would like to invite some of the women who have helped you raise her.
We preferred to have only women or girls who have already had their menarche so that they can share this common experience and welcome the young woman into the circle of women.
- If my daughter does not want a ceremony, is there anything else I can do to make her feel special?
We have heard so many wonderful stories from young women to women nearly 100 years old who have treasured memories of special things their mothers did for them when they had their first moon. Doing something special just for your daughter is the important thing. A gift of a single red rose, taking her out to dinner, or cooking her favorite meal, giving her a special gift passed down through the generations, or simply going for a walk and letting her know how proud of her you are, that you love her, and will be there with her as she is becoming a woman.
If you have an event that you would like to mention here, please email: brooke@celebrategirls.com. I will happily display it. Be sure to put the city, state and country.